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One of my first digital pieces (2010) versus one of my recent ones (2024)
We all start somewhere!
#picked these cause they're in a similar pose lol. i mean not at all. but sort of... more than my other art at least...#oh fuck im so tired im saving this to drafts and coming back later#my anxiety meds wipe me the fuck out so im trying not to take them in the day#and they're like legit borderline a sleeping med for me. i take one and in 30 mins im OUT.#so I'm. i mean i was already only taking 1-2 in the day and then 2-3 at night#anyways it makes me sad when people say they dont have an artistic bone in their body#and especially when they say they could never draw like me :(#dont put yourself down to lift me up! i don't want my art to be used for you to be mean to yourself!!!#lots of experiences of people comparing themselves to me and being mean to themself...#feels bad. it's okay if you're slow it's okay to be learning it's okay!!!#I'm me and you're you and we're here to learn from each other. i just wanna hang out..#y'know what I'm just gonna post without saying anything i WILL forget I made a draft#i have so many things i intend to post and then forget#it's a wonder I post anything#i only do it when i get bored. and run out of stuff to scroll through#like whelp. guess if i want a post I have to make one myself.#also the second one is really good idc that it's a study i still drew it#art growth#this was in 2010 btw#i started highschool in 2011#I've grown a lot and you can too.#also I've never really been one to dislike my old art. like idk I was trying... if it's bad I just won't look at it whatever#like i wouldn't be mean to someone else who made that so i don't get a free pass to be mean just cause it's to me#man my thoughts are bungled. okay sleep time#if my phone made typos you didn't see it
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me, coming to this website every single day: don't look at the like/reblog ratio don't look at the like/reblog ratio don't look at the like/reblog ratio don't look at the like/reblog ratio don't look at the like/reblog ratio don't look at the like/reblog ratio don't look-
#life#like every single fucken time!!!#i scroll through my dash and see gifs or art and stuff#and my hand is just gliding to the notes#it's fucking depressing honestly#and if i do that to my own posts it's fucking over#like i've been trying my best to focus on just making stuff for my own enjoyment and artistic expression#but that well is running dry ngl#people here take so much shit for granted everything is fucking content to be consumed#so many blogs just hoard posts in their likes like a little board in their room where they pin posts#it's exhausting honestly
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#alan wake 2#thomas zane#tom zane#ilkka villi#alanwakeedit#ilkkavilliedit#mk.op#mk.edit#mk.gifs#i know somebody has made a set like this before#i couldn't find it?? unless i just tagged it with my aw2 tag??#my thomas zane tag honestly feels so....bare#like i expected far more than what's in there but i know i don't always do a good job at tagging#esp when i'm on my phone and admittedly in my car in traffic just scrolling through lol#also next saturday is the one year anniversary of my first time playing alan wake 2 and foray into the remedy verse#and i wanna do something real special but idk what#(and can you all believe it's only been 8 months since i've become vocal about it all on tumblr cause i can't)#(feels like i've been part of this fandom for years)
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Can't fucking stand Black Butler antis, YES my favorite scene was the fucking asthma scene bitch AND???? I'M WEIRD? WHY DID YOU WATCH AN ANIME WITH CLEARLY SUGGESTIVE SCENES LIKE THAT HUH???
SPEAK UP.
#talking as if we didn't all know what the undertones were with the corset scene#if you hate that shit so much rhis isn't YOUR space#it's OURS#I remember the fanart. bitch i remember the sebaciel MEMES I'd scroll through on Pinterest#with comments laughing about how funny or adding on to it#i remember the youtube compilations and the bitches all swooning at the sebaciel scenes#and now youre going to sit there#and look at me like I'M the freak for still being like this. mother. fucking. bitch eHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE THEN?????#why are you WATCHING why are you READING without SOME DEGREE OF *TOLERANCE* FOR SEBACIEL#I'm sorry. it's not like I've been even too involved in Kuroshitsuji in recent years just#it feels like.. entitlement to me? it rubs me the wrong way#proship#proship rant#sebaciel#pro ship#pro fiction#do i tag this as shotacon?#proshippers please interact
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screentime that tells you to kill yourself
#weirdly i feel like i've barely been on twitter but i think it's just that i haven't read many phannie tweets#i just open it and scroll through some really boring shit on the for you tl and then close it cause oh my god who cares#but if u do that twenty times a day it adds up ��
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#crow talks#Art Fight 2024#Team Stardust#Team Seafoam#I've been scrolling through AF polishing my bookmarks#I'm usually SUPER booked with revenges but I wanna see if I can just do lil sketches this year!#I can't promise FULL artworks but maybe I can help promote long posts or make it easier for other artists to scroll through the comments he
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I haven't watched more than like, 8 episodes of once piece, but i just want to say that i'm loving your live(?) blogging of the episodes as you go. especially all the sanji x luffy, it's all very cute in general but also how excited you get about it is fantastic.
that's all! i just love seeing people passionately enjoy things.
AAGFGHGHF THANK YOU OMG........I feel like I've been REALLY annoying talking about Sanlu nonstop but I'm glad at least somebody is enjoying it lmao. But if there's one place where I SHOULD have no filter and feel free to talk about my ships constantly, it should be my own blog right. LOL
Essentially,
#Also live blogging is fun for me too ESPECIALLY when I can come back to it later#Like. In a couple months or years#I can scroll through my tags and relive everything I was feeling in those exact moments#Just makes for good memories <3#Shima answers questions#Anyway thank you for letting me unashamedly rant about OP and Sanlu. I appreciate you 🥰#Nice things#Again I'm so so so glad I got into OP. Not only is it just a fantastic show in general but like#I'm properly hyperfixated on it now and I haven't been that way towards anything in a HOT second#It's good for me bc that means I'll be writing and drawing and creating more#I've drawn more over the past month than I have over the last year. Probably. Lol#One Piece#Sanlu#Lusan
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“alcoholism is slowly destroying Leon’s body” jokes aside, Leon really is starting to look old in Death Island in a way that is not at all forcing me to confront my own mortality, I swear
the alcoholism is starting to destroy his body, though. someone please spray this bitch with a hose and then hold him down and shave his face.
#resident evil#resident evil death island#leon kennedy#i've just been scrolling through twitter like#damn leon look at those lines around your eyes man#you're starting to look rough
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youtube just threw me a curveball by adding "translate into thai" (in dutch) under every english comment in a comment section
#i've been so confused about when they do or don't offer their built-in translations recently#they usually offer (in dutch) to translate german into english. but with thai (to english) it seems they only show that option half the tim#and now. i have been assigned Might Like Thai Text. by youtube#truly what is happening. i don't understand any of the logic here#which youtube employee is being paid to do a coin toss to decide if they'll offer a translation option on comments i scroll through or not#*#wait okay. the youtube app just showed me a partially dutch ad with one line of french text and an english tagline link underneath#hello. the tower of babel called it wants its schtick back
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the day that network & studio execs finally get over their relentless obsession with cop shows and pre-existing ip and pre-existing ip in the form of cop shows will the day i finally know peace.
every goddamn show is "based on the novel" "based on the 1993 series" "based on this app where you throw hats at a potato" "the seventeenth spin-off set in the world of ncis" like please i'm begging you to just pick up one of the zillion new ideas that writers have been bringing you. there are so many incredible original pilots and series concepts being written every goddamn day and the people in charge of the money in this town are just like..... hmmmmm but instead could it be about an undercover cop who once had a run in with the team on law and order: toronto, and he has to solve a case based on this true crime novel i picked up at an airport last month?
#between this and my earlier post can you tell i've been scrolling through lists of shows currently in production?#it genuinely makes me so mad#seeing how much creativity there is at the ground level here#even just within the fairly limited network of aspiring tv writers i have#and then looking at what is being produced and seeing nothing but 500 different iterations of law enforcement agency: city division#anyway the only pre-existing ip allowed to be produced in the next five years is supernatural season 16+ and a movie#''but cass that's hypocritical'' hm i don't care#i'm the one ranting here so i'm making that the single rule#cass says things
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I had my first Pepsi since getting sick today and I think i got a bit carried away
The Ralsei in the bottom right is from the comic Looking Glasses by @ferronickel, you should check it out if you haven't yet ^-^ ((sorry for the tag at two in the morning haha))
edit: whoops forgot to link the comic
#was recently reminded of the bunny hood and I needed to draw it because it's been a while#am also replaying tears of the kingdom right now since I blew through it the first time around#i didn't stop for anything#just beelined through the main quests lmao#i don't regret it at all bc good god the boss music slaps#i've been listening to it for the past hour#i've been meaning to draw ralsei's winter outfit from looking glasses but i always keep drawing the same ralsei over and over#was pretty fun to do something different for once#the rest was me scribbling circles and deciding what to make of them later#thx for reading the tag ramble if you did#i love sharing my thoughts on my scribbles but i understand it's a pain to scroll past if i put it in the body text#the legend of zelda#majora's mask#tears of the kingdom#link#tatl#deltarune#kris#susie#ralsei#ducks#doodles
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Nightow naming the chapter 'Wolfwood' has always stuck with me, specifically because of the way it makes the chapter end:
We spend a short amount of time at the end of this chapter with the brief belief that Wolfwood might actually be fine. Us, the readers, alongside Vash, are temporarily allowed a moment of denial before reality comes crashing down again.
And then this. Something as simple as the chapter's end notice, here to inform you that no, this is the end. The end of Wolfwood - the chapter and character, both.
#I was already crying when I got to this point on my first read#but seeing wolfwood/END fucking BROKE me#and it's stuck with me ever since#shoutout to stampede for continuing this tradition ajdkdkkd#the title card for episode 7 coming up when it did actually made me gasp out loud#I lost my mind it's just. So So fucking good#but this post isn't about that. this is about pain and sadness#WILD that it's chapter 7 and episode 7... what's with you and sevens wolfwood#trigun#trigun spoilers#trimax spoilers#trigunbookclub#I haven't been reading alongside bookclub but I've been enjoying it a lot from the sidelines#so have my very humble offering#at.. 4:30am.. oops ajdkkflf#I scrolled through a few posts and had this on the brain#ANYWAY happy reading and goodnight#kim shhh
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made a decision to delete the mobile app and try to limit my phone usage a bit more so just in case anyone notices, I am gonna be a little less active here for a time <3
#been having some trouble with focus and executive dysfunction so just need to take away my scrolling apps for a bit 🙏#also i've been going through a hard time this week and seeing constant bad news and opinions via social media makes it harder to cope tbh#so yeah i'll still be here just less often if i can manage it. i'll still be active on discord though <3#chatter
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hi 👋
#rambling#hi 👋#i know its been a while since i've posted#but i still lurk on here regularly :p#i dont really care to create content or scroll+rb anymore#but i'll keep in touch through dms if anyone wants to <3 or we can exchange discord info💞#i've become more active on twitter? 🤡🤮 but i still feel more comfy typing long rambles here lmao#theres a lot of ateez stuff if u end up looking at it#i been going through stuff the last few months :p#N E WAYS i've decided that i wanna leave my job in a few months 🙈#and the stress of it made me wanna come back here and use this blog like a diary 🙈🙈#i mean. it feels like it's the right time for me to leave#it's just the anxiety of not knowing >.<#also job huntings the worst 🤮🤮🤮🤮#but im ready for a change ^^#and i wanna be optimistic!! so im manifesting that the whole ordeal goes smoothly and im not unemployed for long!!!🙏#if u read all this. i love u and i hope u have an awesome week!! :) 💖💖💖#also reply with something good that happened to u recently!#celebrating u would help cheer me up rn :')#otherwise. have a good night! see u space cowboy
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back in early 2021 for zinefest I made these tiny little bookshelf zines (with about 28 pages/books in each)
It's been a few years since I've done zinefest but I'm finally updating them and it is SO funny to see the vast difference in just a couple years, both in what I've read & would put in rec lists and how I write my silly little bullet points about each one.
these are very like early-booktok vibe when the energy was just 'here's a list of 20 [type of queer] books! stop saying there are no [type of queer] books I swear to god! there are so many thousands of books that exist!' whereas now it's like. okay we know there's lots I'm going to be a lot more picky and discerning about what I actually recommend and how I recommend them lol. shoutout to me for writing little bullet point descriptions for every books I've read in the last 3.5 years though, makes it easy to put these together
#laya talks#just me scrolling through my document and seeing (shitty book that's popular) and screaming NO who was i. delete#I'm not sure what the point of this post is it's just what I've been doing for the last few days#it is also funny that of the ones from last time I have left over it's like 0 or 1 of them then 6 gay/mlm ones.#yeah people saw that I have one of those and 4 separate sapphic ones and knew where my energy was going
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twitter is entering their "rts > likes" phase now that likes are private after they spent years calling us ungrateful for being demotivated by ratios lmao
#man fuck yall just support artists you enjoy#dont attack people who dont rb/rt your art (hell they might even have it scheduled) but also dont constantly demand ''content'' from people#ESPECIALLY without telling them that you appreciate the effort they put in to show you cool things they made for free#you should've been rt'ing/rb'ing from the START 😒 just show people you care!#im just waiting to scroll through post after post of ppl calling out ''entitled artists'' lmao#btw my opinion on the whole thing is painfully neutral if you couldnt tell#i dont think you should care that much about numbers and ppl take it wayyyyyy too far#throwback to that one guy who personally @ everyone who didnt reblog their art that was CRAZY. i would straight up report you KJFGHKG#i also understand and have personally experienced how much engagement can change your mood#a simple ''i love this!'' can make someone's day. it's not hard to understand why ppl like engagement#when they make post after post without so much as a little tag they dont care about sharing anymore#the fact that people call that ''entitlement'' is also crazy#i have a lot of drawings i havent posted or just left nonrebloggable bc it really doesnt make a difference lmao#the only ones i leave rebloggable are the ones that i Know will do well and get attention. like the little pig redraw#if it's cute or funny it gets positive attention. anything else is shit on here lmao#it's just not as fun to share. it either leads to no engagement or negative engagement#would rather have nothing than something rude so whatever#some ppl say it's always been like this but no it absolutely was not always like this#idk what exactly caused the change. probably a lot of factors#could even just be the fandoms i hang around in! but considering i've seen the same sentiment from a bunch of ppl i doubt it's that#the best solution to no engagement is to just make friends and have fun#but 90% of the internet is hostile and negative and rude for no fucking reason#when i unfollowed someone on my old public twitter and they @ me over it. damn i dont know why but NOW i know why 😭#this post has gone way off course im just ranting at this point. i havent talked in a while hi how have you guys been#work was a lot yesterday and today is too slow (im not at work im just going crazy in my house)#(and i cant leave my house bc there's construction blocking the road someone save me)#chat
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